fathers and finances

I wish to touch on the subject of fathers, finances, and divorce. Many studies in the past have shown that most divorce start by a difference in finances. There are financial troubles that add a stress that can be detrimental. Why is this such a big struggle in today’s society? How can the lack of money be such a hassle? Hopefully I can expound on this subject and show how basic finances that can be extremely daunting can actually be easy.

Back in the 1980’s there was a significant change in society in general. Housing prices increased drastically as the women’s movement exploded. Instead of one breadwinner in a family, there was now two. People saw this as soon the only way to compete. How can you by a house over someone else when they have another breadwinner? It has been proven that a woman in the workforce will still have 35% more work to do in the home even if she has the exact same job as the man in the home. These small differences can cause significant rifts in a family. Questions begin to arise of,” should we use your money or mine?

There was a study given on a typical family unit to see if a wife making money was truly beneficial to the overall welfare of the family. A typical family was chosen for this study that had 2 children and a married couple. An accountant came in and calculated the money made if the mother wasn’t working compared to her working. The husband made about 41,000 a year and the wife made around 22,000. At the end of the study, it was shown that as combined, they really only made 40,000 dollars. This doesn’t sound possible when looking on the outside math. Things that were calculated were simply comparing money spent for the two different life styles. A working life style has 4 mouths to feed and usually resorted to fast food because time is short. Baby sitting was another large factor in this as well. When it was all said and done, the accountant found that this family was actually losing money by the mother working. Her work at home was more beneficial to their pocket book by not having to spend money as when she would if she were working.

What also should be a terrible vice to avoid is the statement “your job.” “The dishes aren’t my job!” “Why do I have to do your job when you don’t do mine!” All these statements divide the home. Work in this sense is something that is terrible and is frowned upon. No-one wants to do it. Someone has to do it still and whomever is the peacekeeper will usually be first to step up to the plate. Over time, laziness looses out. There begins to be strife and contention because either the husband or wife is doing “more” than their spouse and ill feelings are the response of this.

A final thing I wish to hit on is another study. It is common practice for parents to pay their kids for doing their chores. A study was done where kids were payed to play. Over time, the kids played less and did it more grudgingly. Many times, parents wish to help their kids do better so they motivate them with money. In the end, this can be more detrimental than not giving them money at all for their work.

One final thing I wish to touch on the is role of fathers and how the phrase “toxic masculinity” is doing more harm than good. It has become so thick of a fog, that England has considered men to not be necessary for the family unit besides bring in the income. If a mother and her children are provided for, there doesn’t even need to be a husband or father. On https://www.fatherhood.gov/dadtalk-blog/fatherhood-research-practice-network-webinar-findings-frpn-funded-projects-home, there is access to research of how fathers in the home are not only able to touch their kids life through providing for them but also spending time with them and giving them one on one time. It teaches them life skills and gives and added strength of what it means to be strong in life and how to survive in today’s world. He teaches them what it means to lose and how they can recover from it. He teaches them what it means to win and the means of winning. He helps them with their emotions by offering a strength in their life that they can turn to when in need of help. A father-head figure is so much more than just Mr. money bags. Fatherhood is a gift and should be treated as such.