relationships and boundaries

Anyone who knows biology knows there is a significant difference between a woman and a man’s body. This difference in hormones and cycles can sometimes create a real problem for intimacy in marriage and that can be a very big thing. Intimacy in marriage is a wonderful good thing that can cause a couple to solidify their bonds with each other and make each other feel closer to each other than ever.

This biology can cause real gaps and differences in marriage however if not communicated properly. A male has very large amount of testosterone in their body when compared to women. Testosterone is the driving hormone for sexual relations. It has been proven that men are ready to have intimacy much more than women but it also doesn’t last near as long during the act of sex. Women however have a much longer period of build up as well as a longer sustain period. This difference can cause women to think men are selfish and only want sex when they want it. When women are finally at their peak of satisfaction, the man is tired and wants to sleep. This is a hormonal issue that needs to be understood. Overcoming this needs communication and selflessness. Men release a large amount of Dopamine and Serotonin while women excrete high amounts of Oxytocin, serotonin, and Dopamine. Men want to sleep and women want to cuddle.

Other differences are that men reach their sexual peak in their lives at ages 18-19 while women reach their peak at 30-35. These numbers are vastly different. Studies have been done to prove that men have sex so that they can feel closer to their spouse while women want to have sex with people that they are already close and feel comfortable with. Once again, these small differences can cause relationships to go in different directions.

One large thing however that both men and women don’t realize is that people who keep sexual relations including sexual thoughts within their marriage are much happier not only sexually but ever aspect of their marriages. This complete act of devotion shows each other they have no other commitment besides to each other. Their devotion is for each other.  It has been commonly accepted by sexual arousal can be satisfied in anyway a person sees fit and it is ok. Anyone who has remained loyal and faithful to one person will tell you this isn’t the case. If you feel like your sexual intimacy or satisfaction with your partner is in the decline, push everything out of your life that could pull your focus off them. Then serve them, care for them, and remain faithful to them in every way and your relationship will improve.

It has become a serious problem across the U.S. where wives leave their husbands for other women or visa versa. This doesn’t just come to happen from out of nowhere. As people, we seek to find people who are relatable to us and who we can confide in. When people’s spouses aren’t connected emotionally, they will go other places where they can find that. What can also have this come up is a spouse not fully confiding in their partner. It has become quite widely accepted that when a couple is having problems in their marriage, they go to their parents and discuss their problems. When this is the practice, it breaks the connection that is meant to be formed between husband and wife. There are things that should be shared only between husband and wife. We should always remember that married people should put their spouse first before anyone else. They should be your confidant in everything. If we put our spouse first in the relationship, they will see that and in return put you first as well.