foundation of a relationship ext.

There needs to be a foundation to every house we build today. If not, the house itself will crumble overtime and not withstand the elements in time. If the right procedures aren’t followed carefully, foundations will fail on our structures. This same concept can be found in the marriage unit. Proper procedures must be followed or the marriage in itself will fail. I wish to dive quickly into these different aspects of building a sustaining marriage.

If someone was to give you a bunch of lumber for your house to be built from, you wouldn’t walk out and just start hammering boards together. If you did, you would be wasting time and lumber. Yet for some reason we do this with our relationships. We have the proper supplies to build and yet just throw it together without any plan at all. Dating is simply the way for us to write blue-prints for our marriage. A couple needs to learn to problem solve, decision make, and learn to communicate together. This is best done through different activities and date ideas.

Now comes the engagement. Today’s society, it has become so noncommittal. What do you think about marriage? If we were to get married…? These are common questions for guys to ask women before they even propose to them. Ask yourself. What could be wrong with this? How does the woman know the guy is committed? How does she know his full intentions if he’s not willing to show his willingness to make the initial investment in her? This seems very one sided one may point out. It should be because the woman is putting her future in his hands. It is proven in studies that women have become the dominant ones in the relationship. Men not willing to commit first isn’t the entire reason for this but it is a factor.

Marriages are next in line. Marriages today run anywhere from 19,000 to 33,000 dollars. In order to pay for this, usually the parents step in to help. This is our custom. It has also become custom for the woman and her parents to make the entire wedding plans and leaving the guy completely out. Think of how this could be a strain on the relationship later on. I won’t go into detail at this time but will rather let you think about it.

These previous steps are so crucial because marriage will only get harder. It will also be more fulfilling but these aspects are often looked over. If not built with a solid foundation, marriages will fail when any struggle arises including having kids. Data shows that marriages are always improving until children are brought into the situation. This is because one partner feels that they are no longer loved because their spouse spends more time on their kids. Once the kids move out, the marriage gets better. It’s not that kids are bad. They just require more of the parents than just newlyweds.

There are ways to overcome this however. It should be closely observed that the man and woman make sure the man is also very involved in the pregnancy. The husband can be more involved by going to doctor appointments, talking about the baby, and sharing their ideas and expectations of the child. They should have an open line of communication as well as an added patience and understanding for each other. With these small steps, a husband and wife can overcome any struggle. Open communication with an added level of service will show devotion that was other-wise not thought of to be possible. Marriages will have their rough spots and if not given a proper foundation as well as constant building, they will eventually fail. It is inevitable.