divorce and precautions

Divorce rates are commonly talked about here in the U.S. With all this repetition of divorce is 50%, it is now more of a fact than it is of theory. Everyone seems to know that the divorce rate is half but what they don’t know is that is actually wrong. Divorce rates are around 30% instead. Now this number still shouldn’t be focused on as much as it is. We should instead concentrate on why divorce happens in the first place and why this number is actually falling. Much of the reason that this number is falling is because people are simply not getting married as much as they used to. Another reason is people’s upbringing. It has been found that children who have divorced parents are 60% more likely to get divorced in the future than those who have stable family relationships. There are other numbers that are interesting as well.

Now let’s talk about the outcomes of divorce itself. Divorce over the course of 5 years costs on average 125,000 dollars. 70% of divorced couples admit that they wish they would have stayed with their spouse and stuck it out. 70% of people who stick through their marriage whom are very dissatisfied with their marriage report that they become very satisfied with their marriage in just 5 years. Average miles a father is away from their kids at the age of 12 in divorced homes are 400 miles. All these numbers show that marriages can be saved when they aren’t. It further shows that divorce is expensive and hard on the children. It also shows that relationships can work out if couples are able to stick it out for the rough parts.

In the data collected above, it is important for us to keep an open mind and try to understand all the causes and effects of why these numbers are the way they are. There are so many factors that are to play here. For instance, much of the reason fathers move 400 miles away is to get a job that is more adequate as to pay for child support for their kids. Mom also moves away to have a more stable support group from her immediate family. The complexity of family units alone is much messier than we see at eye value. Every divorce has repercussions such as hurt children, fathers, and mothers.

Now let’s dive into divorce and what it entails. Back in the 60’s, there was only 4 things that would allow you to get a divorce in a court of law. Abandonment, adulterer, abuse, and addiction were the things when proved in court, would be the factor to break a marriage. In California however, there came about a no-fault divorce law. From this time forth, divorces have spiraled out of control. Other repercussions were seen as well such as custody of the children.

The above attributes were seen in court to make one person the good guy and the other the bad guy. The children would then go to the (not bad-guy). With the new law, there was no possible way to determine who was the good and bad guy. Joint-custody was introduced and there were couples who began sharing their kids with each-other instead of just one having them permanently.

There are 6 types of divorce. Emotional, Legal, Economic, Co-parent, Community, and Psychic divorce is each a step in a full divorce. Emotional is when a couple lose their love. Legal is when they lose the state’s understanding of them being married. Economic is when they separate their property. Co-parent is when one or the other decide to not put as much effort into their children. Community is when a couple makes it known to all around that they are not satisfied with their spouse. Psychic is the step mentally when people have concluded that they must get a divorce no matter what. Each of these steps by themselves can cause a couple to give up on their marriage. Also, each of these types of divorces can be reinforced and made whole and therefore improve the marriage as a whole.

When its all said and done, therapists have seen that a majority of marriages can be saved and even a larger amount of people say that they wish they tried harder to save their marriage. We should try to save our marriages for ourselves and for our children.