Family structure

There has been so much confusion of what a family of what is to be expected from a family. Popular pop-culture tells us that a family behaves in a certain way that is of a selfish nature. If one person in the family isn’t getting something out of the (family unit), then they have every right to get out of it. If this is the case, then the (family system) is broken. There are certain laws or practices that will work in society in general but not in the family.

One example is the exchange theory. Americans are especially fond of this theory and for good reason. The Capitalist system is based on give and take. What is best for me? This attitude, though selfish, has brought America and the world prosperity that has never been seen before. Society is also known as cruel and unforgiving. It is harsh and requires the heaviest competition. This works for society because society is set up as a business organization. A family isn’t a business. It never was. It was set up as how the ancient Greeks and Romans thought. Virtue, trust, strength, honesty, and respect are the heart and soul of every family unit. Any old married couple that is still happy in their marriage will tell you that you can’t give 50%. You have to give 100%. There can’t be a motion of give and take. You give all you can and make the relationship work. In the end, families are built on service and love.

Other theories such as conflict theory and symbolic interactions are also widely accepted by today’s society as strong theories the way a family should be run. Conflict theory is based on once again a give and take basis but this time is built more upon compromise. Conflict theory also gives the understanding that people will be different. No couple will be completely harmonious and that’s fine. These differences can be over-come by compromise.

Another subject I wish to touch upon is how a family unit should interact. Today’s society has pushed for equality so hard that there are no longer leaders. There are not executives of any kind because one person doesn’t want to express control over another. We know that if government behaved this way, there would be chaos across the country. What I’m aiming at here is that there should be a form of leadership in every family. I’m not saying there should be a dictator and the subjects. Instead there should be a mother and father that work together as leadership partners. They should have an open relationship as well and set up boundaries of what they excel at. The father for example is a morning person so his responsibility would be to wake the kids and make breakfast. The mother excels at making people feel better so she would take the lead in helping the kids feel loved and supported. Mothers and fathers are a team and should work as a team. Any conflict between the two should be resolved privately instead of openly. This gives the children a sense of security and easiness, knowing that their parents are unified together.

The family unit isn’t a system of give and take. It is neither a system just for our benefit. It should be a unit built on reaching outward instead of one's own self. If it isn't these things, it usually doesn’t stay together very long. It should be unified, loving, full of service, respected, strong, nurtured, and protected. Later I hope to go through each of these aspects and explain how each of these can be achieved. If any of these are excluded, there will be hard-ships that the family will experience that may be detrimental.