Poverty and Support

Poverty is looked at a magnifying glass. How does America attempt to fix it? Money and more money! Throwing money at this issue necessarily won’t fix it. Usually these families are poorly educated and don’t even know what to really do with money when it is given to them. They will go immediately to their wants instead of their needs. This is proven time and time again in many people that are given free assistance by the government. Though some use it to their benefit to pull them out of their struggles, others use and abuse the system and see no need to withdraw from aid. This becomes both a hindrance to both their growth and the economy’s.

I want to get to the root cause of why families in poverty continue in poverty and what will really help them. One of the first causes of people rolling back into poverty is (believe it or not) sexual procreation. There are several studies done that prove when someone has a much higher chance of success if they graduate high school without being a parent. The second thing to do is finish high school. Many people in poverty get caught up in gangs or organizations that pull them away from education and more towards crime. The third thing is to simply get a job. Getting a full-time job not only gives these kids money but also teaches them life-lessons. No-one wants to work at DQ or McDonalds for the rest of their lives. Most people will do whatever is necessary to not have to work there their entire life. Work also gives kids the understanding of the value of work. Work of any kind gives people self-worth and identity. These three basic things are not only important but necessary to help people get out of poverty.

There are issues however that not only the Poverty class deals with but really every class. The Rich and poor are very similar in this one aspect and that is emotional support. Though it effects the kids for the most part, it also effects the parents. Poverty class families are usually single parents whom work and struggle to be the bread winner. There is little time to keep their family floating. One would think that the rich wouldn’t have this problem but yet they do. Richer families usually comprise of two parents but are both working. The pursuit of money becomes more important than raising their children. What do they do? What they always do! Throw money at it! Pay a nanny. They’ll take care of it. There are bonds and ties however that no one else can fill but the parents of these children. A hundred nannies can’t give the true love and support that the parents of those kids can provide. Each parent also plays a vital role in raising children. The father and mother have different effects on the upbringing of their children. Women are more of the nurturers and offer mental support. They give strength and are able to teach standards for their children to follow. Fathers give strength and stability to the family unit. In times of crisis, the family can look to the father to pull them out of their struggles. They take things more at a logical standpoint and see more clearly how to get the family back onto safer ground. These small but simple things can mean the entire difference with children. Children without mothers are seen to be more depressed, harder difficulty with school, unrulier, and less sensitive. Children without fathers have been seen to become more insecure, shy, uncertain, and less confident. Though money is seen as the “cure all,” it isn’t. There are other things that human beings need including nurture and care.

Family structure

There has been so much confusion of what a family of what is to be expected from a family. Popular pop-culture tells us that a family behaves in a certain way that is of a selfish nature. If one person in the family isn’t getting something out of the (family unit), then they have every right to get out of it. If this is the case, then the (family system) is broken. There are certain laws or practices that will work in society in general but not in the family.

One example is the exchange theory. Americans are especially fond of this theory and for good reason. The Capitalist system is based on give and take. What is best for me? This attitude, though selfish, has brought America and the world prosperity that has never been seen before. Society is also known as cruel and unforgiving. It is harsh and requires the heaviest competition. This works for society because society is set up as a business organization. A family isn’t a business. It never was. It was set up as how the ancient Greeks and Romans thought. Virtue, trust, strength, honesty, and respect are the heart and soul of every family unit. Any old married couple that is still happy in their marriage will tell you that you can’t give 50%. You have to give 100%. There can’t be a motion of give and take. You give all you can and make the relationship work. In the end, families are built on service and love.

Other theories such as conflict theory and symbolic interactions are also widely accepted by today’s society as strong theories the way a family should be run. Conflict theory is based on once again a give and take basis but this time is built more upon compromise. Conflict theory also gives the understanding that people will be different. No couple will be completely harmonious and that’s fine. These differences can be over-come by compromise.

Another subject I wish to touch upon is how a family unit should interact. Today’s society has pushed for equality so hard that there are no longer leaders. There are not executives of any kind because one person doesn’t want to express control over another. We know that if government behaved this way, there would be chaos across the country. What I’m aiming at here is that there should be a form of leadership in every family. I’m not saying there should be a dictator and the subjects. Instead there should be a mother and father that work together as leadership partners. They should have an open relationship as well and set up boundaries of what they excel at. The father for example is a morning person so his responsibility would be to wake the kids and make breakfast. The mother excels at making people feel better so she would take the lead in helping the kids feel loved and supported. Mothers and fathers are a team and should work as a team. Any conflict between the two should be resolved privately instead of openly. This gives the children a sense of security and easiness, knowing that their parents are unified together.

The family unit isn’t a system of give and take. It is neither a system just for our benefit. It should be a unit built on reaching outward instead of one's own self. If it isn't these things, it usually doesn’t stay together very long. It should be unified, loving, full of service, respected, strong, nurtured, and protected. Later I hope to go through each of these aspects and explain how each of these can be achieved. If any of these are excluded, there will be hard-ships that the family will experience that may be detrimental.

APA study and trends

            

            Society is so fragile. Sometimes I don’t think we understand. Ronald Reagan once stated that “Freedom is never more than one generation from extinction.” If this is the case, shouldn’t we as citizens of our country be careful of how our children are raised? The future of freedom is passed from one generation to another. If a generation lets those freedoms fail, it isn’t their fault but rather their parents. If they don’t hold standards and beliefs that their parents held, there is a reason for that.

How then should we care for the children of our day? Families of the 21^st century are consistently weak or even broken. Studies have proved that children in single parent, drug-abuse, or other problematic homes are at an automatic disadvantage. The family unit is the primary and basic unit of society. It should be our primary concern to make sure that unit is protected and cared for.

Many bring up the point that kids are very resilient and can recover from the hardest circumstances. The APA brief is one study that is often quoted when talking about the resilience of children. The problem with this as well as many other studies is that people don’t look at the research themselves. This is the case in health, product sales, and every other study. It is simply because of laziness that people don’t look into things themselves. The APA study is full of flaws. Many of the studies don’t have a comparison group and are primarily focused of lesbian white mothers who are financially well off. Not only are gay men not represented in this study but also other ethnicity. The Majority of these studies also are based from convenience sampling which only pulls a certain type out of society instead of the whole. It’s like asking customers to a business to take a poll to see if they’re satisfied with their care. More than likely, people will only report if they are mad or upset. According to the poll, this would show that the vast majority of people are upset with the company.

Another flaw in the APA study is that there is simply not a comparison group in the majority of the studies. If there isn’t anything for them to measure their group against, then how do they know the group is better off than anything else? This is basic fundamentals of statistics and yet this well-known and quoted research failed it extensively. 

Another subject I wish to touch on is the trends of today. There are certain trends today that have not only been accepted by society but encouraged when it comes to family life. Living alone, depression, sexual intimacy before marriage, cohabitation, marriage at older ages, and out of wed-lock births are all significantly different from just 10 years ago. These actions have consequences that greatly influence society in general. There are reasons for this however. People adapt and change according to what they see to be the most beneficial to them. It is difficult to be critical of someone when they are just trying to take care of their own personal interests for self-preservation. It is understandable but not recommended.

There are many who would disagree or agree of the downfalls of these trends. Instead of focusing on the trends however, I believe it is more important to understand where these trends are coming from instead. There has been a peak of fear and selfishness in recent years. Why? It is self-preservation. Society has been taught for years that they are alone in the world. They are to fend for themselves. Why be tied down to a wife or husband when you can be happy without them? Why would someone take such risks financially or emotionally only for the notion of love? Logically it makes little sense.

Though self-preservation trends have been set, this isn’t the best way to go through life. History has proved that happier and more successful people are those who serve, love, and care for other people. Selfish people become more bitter and fend only for themselves simply because no-one else will. This may sound cliché but yet our society still lacks so greatly in these areas.

Introduction

A brief summary of me: I am about finished with my bachelors degree and seek to enter the medical field. Helping people has always been a passion of mine and I seek to serve in anyway I can. I have seen much confusion however and it makes life harder on many people. Confusion of identity, family, and other basic fundamentals that make up society are no-longer under one recipe.